“For this thing to work,” says former wrestler Trevor “Bulldog” Bolton (Dave Johns) to his ragtag group of fellow grapplers The Panthers as they prepare to return to the ring in order to raise funds to save their local pub The Half Nelson from closure, “somebody has to be bad.” Unfortunately, that somebody is not the masked Bob Dylan (ie villain) that is Lesley “Boo Hiss” Beck (Christopher Fairbank) but writer and director Dan Cadan whose debut feature is devoid of verbal sparring, comedy set pieces and a knockout blow.

What’s more, the performances are so cartoonish and OTT that they only draw attention to the lack of humour and originality within the script. Stephen Tompkinson, in particular, uncharacteristically two-dimensional as the ruthless brewery owner Paul Peterson who for reasons best known to himself is intent on closing down the “beating heart of the community” in which “everyone is welcome” including transgender wrestler Zulu Dawn (Robbie Gee) and her camp by name and even camper by nature admirer Popsy Wilson Jr. (Steve Furst).

Another ropey moment is the Rocky-esque training sequence which includes several unfunny bits of business in the grim up north streets of Yorkshire, culminating in a far from iconic run up a hill by Mark “I could have been a contender” Bolton (Stephen Graham). Uninspired padding, nothing more. The only saving grace is the short running time of 108 minutes. In other words, not so much Walk Like A Panther, more limp as a rag doll.

Director: Dan Cadan
Writer: Dan Cadan
Stars: Stephen Graham, Jason Flemyng, Julian Sands
Peter Callaghan
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