The similarities between Pauline Collins’ characters in Shirley Valentine and The Time Of Their Lives are obvious. Both the titular Shirley and the surname-less Priscilla are mousy housewives dissatisfied with their loveless marriages and the routine and order that passes for life. Both escape to the continent in search of sun, sea and sex (or at the very least cuddles).

And both talk to a wall: one made of bricks and mortar, the other Joan Collins whose photogenic appearance fails to paper over the cracks of her one-dimensional performance and lack of chemistry between her and her namesake Pauline. In fact, a brief exchange between Joan Collins and Michael Brandon as the blink-and-you-miss-him Hollywood producer Harry Scheider sums it up. “What are you doing here?”, he asks. To which she replies, “I need a job.”

Which is a shame because Pauline Collins is, as ever, adorable as the put-upon Priscilla who accidentally stumbles onto a care home minibus bound for Boscombe Pier from where she and Helen Shelley (Joan Collins), a big star on the slide and self-proclaimed “only sane one on the bus”, hop on a ferry to France to attend the funeral of an acclaimed film director in the hope of securing Helen a comeback role or at the very least a shallow man with deep pockets.

Miscasting and wooden performances aside, writer/director Roger Goldby (who has stepped behind the camera for a string of steady-as-she-goes television dramas such as Call The Midwife and Inspector George Gently) doesn’t do himself or the cast any favours by employing a series of tame and tired visual gags, which would not look out of place on Last Of The Summer Wine: driving on the wrong side of the road and careering down a hill because the arthritic driver can’t lift his foot off the accelerator is far from side-splitting.

And the direction like the dialogue lacks focus as evidenced by Helen’s hurried instruction to Priscilla before boarding a ferry: “Just keep moving, act old.” This may work for Compo and Cleggy, but as a road movie which purports to be the next Thelma and Louise, it goes nowhere fast. The Time Of Their Lives the cast and crew may have had; but 104 minutes of my life I won’t get back. Still, Pauline Collins’ heartwarming performance made it bearable. Just.

Video courtesy of: Vertigo Films UK

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Peter Callaghan
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