Liam Neeson’s latest vehicle is a car crash. At the beginning, a nothing-to-see-here bumper scrape. By the end, a Wacky Races pile-up on acid.

A remake of the Norwegian crowd-pleaser In Order Of Disappearance which excelled in being droll, dark and violent, Cold Pursuit is just that – a cold pursuit – being wildly uneven in tone, ingloriously hammy and as long and frustrating as Brexit.

Which is strange because Hans Petter Moland directed both.

I can only imagine that something got lost in translation when he read Frank Baldwin’s all-over-the-place script; money talked; or the final draft was accidentally replaced by an upturned tin of Alphabeti Spaghetti.

With regard to the imploding star who caused a stir with the colourful confession that he once wanted to “kill a black b*****d”, Neeson plays Neeson with the same forced American accent as we have come to endure. Sorry, expect.

Neeson does what Neeson has done countless times before and with diminishing success: pump bullets into hitmen who have bumped off his nearest and dearest.

And Neeson lives to fight another Neeson day and pick up another Neeson pay cheque.

He is a much better actor than the material he chooses to parrot. And he is not short of a buck. Therefore his defence must mirror that of Michael Caine who when interviewed about his appearance in the dreadful Jaws: The Revenge remarked: “I have never seen it, but by all accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific.”

To paraphrase, I have seen Cold Pursuit and it is terrible. A void. Avoid.

Director: Hans Petter Moland
Writers: Frank Baldwin (screenplay by), Kim Fupz Aakeson (based on the movie ‘Kraftidioten’ written by)
Stars: Liam Neeson, Laura Dern, Micheál Richardson
Peter Callaghan
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