Forget Kevin, we need to talk about Jamie (Lucas Jade Zumann). Or rather his concerned mum Dorothea (Annette Bening) does. For as she reveals to her lodger Abbie (Greta Gerwig) and Jamie’s BFF Julie (Elle Fanning): “I know him less every day.” Given their forty year age gap, his estrangement from his father, the lack of a male role model, his previous ill-health and the fact he is going through “this part” of his life which is “not easy, it’s not easy for anybody” (i.e. his journey from childhood to manhood, hand-holding to headboard banging), she calls upon Abbie and Julie to watch out for him and share their experiences as 20th Century Woman.

The problem is, Jamie’s doing just fine. And if anything, it’s Dorothea, Abbie and Julie who are in a bit of a sticky wicket. Particularly the former who is floored by a series of disarming questions such as: “Why are you fine being sad and alone?” The answer to which is alluded to in her description of the family car which burst into flames in a parking lot: “It wasn’t always old, it just got that way all of a sudden.” Her real concern, though, is that she’s afraid to let go. And before she does, or rather before she has no choice but to accept that he is going, going, gone, she wants to ensure that he doesn’t end up in the same place as her – stuck!

Cue a crash course in Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus which includes a punch in the face from a High School jock who took umbrage at a lecture about “direct clitoral stimulation”, a fumble under the sheets which is met with a frosty rebuttal of “Friends can’t have sex and still be friends” and pearls of wisdom sponsored by Gillette such as “Whatever you think your life’s going to be like, just know it’s not going to be anything like that.” All of which is meant, as Kenny Everett’s alter ego Cupid Stunt used to say, in the best possible taste. And even though Jamie tries his darnedest to process the conveyor belt of do’s and don’ts of what it means to “be a man” to “20th Century Women”, in the end he beats his own path and floors his mother with yet another disarming one-liner: “I’m dealing with everything, you are dealing with nothing.”

Annette Bening is, as ever, incredible. Displaying more emotions in a glance than most actors can pack into a Shakespeare soliloquy. Though credit to the rest of the cast who share her spontaneity, authenticity and wit. So much so that you really warm to the characters and believe that they are flesh and blood human beings in search of love, happiness and meaning. The Oscar-nominated screenplay by writer/director Mike Mills is loaded with the kind of toe-curling conversations which many of us long to have but out of fear and embarrassment shy away from. And the humour – gallows, sarcastic, awkward, forced, you name it – is joyous and relentless.

Like life, there is no plot. Just a series of conversations between people who through choice and chance find themselves occupying the same time and space. And if you’re looking for life lessons or silver linings, jog on. For the closest we get is a throwaway line by Dorothea,

which is from the “as the actress said to the bishop” school of moralising: “There’s a hard part but then it gets better. Then it gets hard again.” But when the screen fades to black and the theme from Casablanca tugs at our heartstrings, we really hope that the characters find love, happiness and meaning. However fleeting. And, personally, I enjoyed the film so much that I could quite happily have remained in my seat and uttered the immortal if misquoted words of Bogart: “Play it again, Sam.”

Video courtesy of: A24

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Peter Callaghan
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